Enough

To some of you who knows me, maybe you notice at one time when I am really eager talking about marriage and stuffs related to that.

I don't really know why or how, but I think I have enough of that. It might be because of the problems I'm having right now. It might be because of the frequent stories about the problems in marriage. It might also be because I realized that I'm not there yet. That is, I'm not ready yet.

And because of me replanning my future, most of my preference on a spouse changed. Don't ask me what are those preferences if you are not planning on helping me with it. :p

At one side, I felt quite frustrated for not having to get married early. (I know, it's lame right? Tell me about it). But on the other side of the coin, I felt quite relieved as I think that it is better this way. Imagine getting married when you really are not ready. There will be so much damage you will cause after that.

So, right now i guess all I need to do is just building up myself. And when the time comes, early or late, or never, I'll just leave it to Him. I've made my effort. So it's up to Him to give me what he wants to.

Don't Surrender

Don't surrender to the surroundings.

Just because the surroundings are bad, doesn't mean that we need to turn into something bad too. Be the one that influence the surrounding to become something great.

Yes, it sounds simple and ideal. Yet, it is among what most of us are struggling on doing. Because we see that most people are doing it, sometimes we feel that it is also okay to do it, even though deep inside, we know that it is wrong, and there is something needs to be done.

At that time, we must be honest with ourselves. Allah gives us choices, and what we choose will shape what we will become in the future.

In Surah Asy-Syams, we understand that He gives us two roads, The Wicked Road and The Righteous Road. Fujuur and Taqwa.

Indeed, life is full of choices.

Choose well.

Unexpected

Oh, that thing about answers and stuff, it's funny that I realized those things at a place I never thought I could learn something. That is, an entertainment YouTube channel named nigahiga.

It shows that God's guidance sometimes come at a place where we least expect it, and when we least expect it. So, never give up hope and always pray for His guidance.

Watching his videos, I always thought that his videos are awkwardly inspiring sometimes and I hope he can make more inspiring videos. He also seem to be maturing himself as time goes by.

I also hope that Mat Luthfi make more videos about issues in Malaysia, even though some people said that his videos sometimes resembles nigahiga's videos.

I guess that's not a problem because maybe he is just inspired by how Ryan make videos and then make his own videos that is closer to the Malaysian.

But if I just think deeply enough, I shouldn't be relying on other people too much. Maybe I should try creating my own content. My own video. My own YouTube channel. But, oh well.

Plan Your Death

After your death;

What kind of status and books that you want people to read from you?

What kind of movie do you want people to watch from you?

What kind of music do you want people to hear from you?

Plan your death wisely.

Answers

Our world is full of questions. We are always in need of answers, which is always there. And our job is to explore them.

In searching answers to my problems, I have went to see many people, read many books, watch many videos, but all that just made me felt relieved just for a short amount of time.

Most of the times, my heart was still trembling. My mind was still confused. My head was still dizzy. My body was always anxious.

I'm lost, I don't know what to do. I prayed, but don't feel any closer to The One I prayed to.

One day I realized, all of the inputs I get from the people around me will not give me the answer that I want. They are just guidelines for me to get to where I am going.

From there, I realized that the answer is always there inside me. I just need to be a little insightful, have more self awareness, be honest to myself and critically find the answer.

There is a reason behind everything. And we can create our own reason, depending on how we want to see things. People can say anything to us. But what shape our view is our own self. So, let's always be honest with our thoughts.